Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.

- Winston Churchill

On the golf course, a man may be the dogged victim of inexorable fate, be struck down by an appalling stoke or tragedy, become the hero of an unbelievable melodrama, or the clown in a sidesplitting comedy - any of these within a few hours.

  - Bobby Jones

Happiness is a long walk with a putter in your hand.

  - Wayne Grady

Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much.

  - Buddy Hackett

Serenity is knowing that your worse shot is still pretty good.

  - Johnny Miller

If you pick up a golfer and hold it close to your ear, like a conch shell, and listen - you will hear an alibi.

  - P. G. Wodehouse.

The most important shot in golf… is the next one

- Ben Hogan

I’m not feeling very well – I need a doctor immediately.  Ring the nearest golf course.

- Groucho Marx

Take two weeks off then quit the game.

- advice to every struggling hacker

The only time prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

- unknown

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air.

- Jack Benny

One of the beauties of the sport is the inspirational heart-stopping move that reminds us of possibilities yet unguessed.

- Michael Murphy

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.

- Robert Lynd

Man blames fate for other accidents but feels personally responsible for a hole-in-one.

- Martha Beckman

There is absolutely nothing humorous at the Masters.  Here, small dogs do not bark and babies do not cry.

- Gary Player

American golfer on the first tee at St. Andrews: “I think I’ll take a Mulligan. Hey caddy, what do you guys call a Mulligan here in Scotland?”

Caddy:  “Laying two”

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