Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.
- Winston Churchill
On the golf course, a man may be the dogged victim of inexorable fate, be struck down by an appalling stoke or tragedy, become the hero of an unbelievable melodrama, or the clown in a sidesplitting comedy - any of these within a few hours.
- Bobby Jones
Happiness is a long walk with a putter in your hand.
- Wayne Grady
Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much.
- Buddy Hackett
Serenity is knowing that your worse shot is still pretty good.
- Johnny Miller
If you pick up a golfer and hold it close to your ear, like a conch shell, and listen - you will hear an alibi.
- P. G. Wodehouse.
The most important shot in golf… is the next one
- Ben Hogan
I’m not feeling very well – I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
- Groucho Marx
Take two weeks off then quit the game.
- advice to every struggling hacker
The only time prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
Give me my golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air.
- Jack Benny
One of the beauties of the sport is the inspirational heart-stopping move that reminds us of possibilities yet unguessed.
- Michael Murphy
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.
- Robert Lynd
Man blames fate for other accidents but feels personally responsible for a hole-in-one.
- Martha Beckman
There is absolutely nothing humorous at the Masters. Here, small dogs do not bark and babies do not cry.
- Gary Player
American golfer on the first tee at St. Andrews: “I think I’ll take a Mulligan. Hey caddy, what do you guys call a Mulligan here in Scotland?”
Caddy: “Laying two”